So...psych.
I sat in on a session of group therapy at an inpatient facility that houses adolescents and children with psychiatric illness. Essentially, its a small group of boys and girls that meets with a facilitator, a therapist in this case, and these adolescents freely discuss their struggles, their stressors, with their peers. Surprisingly, in the group they open up and talk unguarded about what they face.
On one of the days I sat in, an adolescent boy came in. He was new here. His first day. Sat at the end of the long table. Quite. Polite. When it became his turn to talk, he shifted in his chair and admitted he was struggling with suicidal thoughts and depression that has haunted him for years. Diving deeper into the conversation, he spoke of a history of abuse. A constant feeling like he wasn't good enough. Never good enough. His grades weren't good enough...
My heart stopped when he said his grades weren't good enough.... It was familiar for I knew the feeling. I know the feeling...
..He wasn't talented enough he said. And the world would be a better place if he was not in it any longer. The facilitator, a tall old man with a funny mustache named Mr. Charles, asked what the boy thought made his worth? What made him valuable? The boy looked up and said he was valued by the grades he got. His worth was composed of all the things he did. And at the end of the day, nothing he did was ever good enough. The old man in his funny stache looked at the boy and told him that he needed to reassess his worth.
The conversation steered in another direction and my thoughts steered in a totally different direction entirely (as it often does...)
I thought about my worth. Where does my worth lie? What is my value? It is not based on the clothes on my back. The shoes I wear or how pretty I am, though the magazines tell me otherwise. Its not comprised of my grades, though sometimes I might reason that it does.. and residency programs might argue otherwise. My worth, Your worth is not even based on how others, our friends or our peers, perceive us. My worth is determined by the One who created me. Who made me: my funny nose, jet black hair and all. He created me. He put value into me. Ps 139:14 " I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well." And lest I forget, He came down onto this sinful earth. He paid the punishment for my ugly sins that separated me from a holy God. He died in my place. He got the penalty for sin, I got the new life in Him. Jesus Christ thought that I was SO valuable He died in my place.
What is my worth? This boy's worth? Your worth? Our value is found at the cross..
Have a blessed resurrection Sunday
On one of the days I sat in, an adolescent boy came in. He was new here. His first day. Sat at the end of the long table. Quite. Polite. When it became his turn to talk, he shifted in his chair and admitted he was struggling with suicidal thoughts and depression that has haunted him for years. Diving deeper into the conversation, he spoke of a history of abuse. A constant feeling like he wasn't good enough. Never good enough. His grades weren't good enough...
My heart stopped when he said his grades weren't good enough.... It was familiar for I knew the feeling. I know the feeling...
..He wasn't talented enough he said. And the world would be a better place if he was not in it any longer. The facilitator, a tall old man with a funny mustache named Mr. Charles, asked what the boy thought made his worth? What made him valuable? The boy looked up and said he was valued by the grades he got. His worth was composed of all the things he did. And at the end of the day, nothing he did was ever good enough. The old man in his funny stache looked at the boy and told him that he needed to reassess his worth.
The conversation steered in another direction and my thoughts steered in a totally different direction entirely (as it often does...)
I thought about my worth. Where does my worth lie? What is my value? It is not based on the clothes on my back. The shoes I wear or how pretty I am, though the magazines tell me otherwise. Its not comprised of my grades, though sometimes I might reason that it does.. and residency programs might argue otherwise. My worth, Your worth is not even based on how others, our friends or our peers, perceive us. My worth is determined by the One who created me. Who made me: my funny nose, jet black hair and all. He created me. He put value into me. Ps 139:14 " I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well." And lest I forget, He came down onto this sinful earth. He paid the punishment for my ugly sins that separated me from a holy God. He died in my place. He got the penalty for sin, I got the new life in Him. Jesus Christ thought that I was SO valuable He died in my place.
What is my worth? This boy's worth? Your worth? Our value is found at the cross..
Have a blessed resurrection Sunday
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