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Didn't realize that I'm the biggest jerk in the world..... =/

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An Open Letter -- Part 1

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"Forever O Lord Your Word is settled in heaven" - Ps 119:105 "The grass withers, the flower fades But the word of our God stands forever" - Is 40:8 A few summers ago, we went to Paris and in our exploration of the city, we walked into the Pantheon in Paris. Beautiful architecture, white walls, high gothic arched ceilings with a heavy, murky vibe. The Pantheon is essentially a cemetery for notable French figures, leaders and philosophers. One of the first burial monuments we came upon was Voltaire, 18th century French philosopher and writer. Also a strong critic of Christianity and the Scriptures. He famously said that within 100 years of his death, the Bible would become obsolete,  'a museum piece'. Ironically, a century after his death, Voltaire's house and printing press were used to print Bibles by the Evangelical Society of Geneva.  The famous man that once uttered those words has himself became a museum piece. "The grass withers, the flower fad...
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Fellowship Week One: Black and Blue

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I’m typing this, in my bed with sheets pulled over my face. It’s been a day. And I still have tasks looming over me that I still have to do but it has been a day, a long day. After four years of  residency, I had finally felt comfortable with the management my adult and pediatric patients in the clinic and on the floor. And today to be back at square one, with a knowledge base that is minimal, that’s hard. I am in the ICU with infants and children with complex cardiac diseases often needing urgent or emergent intervention to save their lives. And to not know.  If I’m being honest, it’s the toughest on my ego. Its bruised today, blue and black from all the hits of inadequacy and feelings of inferiority.  But it's humbling to be here again, face to face with what I lack. But as I stare my inadequacy in the face, I realize a few things. One, that this weakness is not always. Your first year is only the first year once.  First week only comes once. I will not always be...
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More than enough

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Having one of those days..maybe weeks.. where I can't help but question why...why did God bring me here? Why did He lead me HERE? Of all the places I could have settled comfortably in. Of all the things I could somewhat adequately do. Why here? IN this that I can not seem to do. Why did God place me of all people here. I keep listing the reasons in my mind, why I certainly don't belong. I'm not smart enough, skilled enough, productive enough, tough enough, outgoing enough, tall enough..the list continues. (its a long list.) And my list of all my failures leads me to this one question that pounds against my tiny brain, why did God bring me here. Am I reasoning with God's infinite wisdom? I'm not sure. I'm not sure about anything. but this: I'm so unable. And in the back corners of my heart, where the child like faith is hidden so well, beneath my aging 20's something exterior, I hear my heart telling me that when I cannot, God can. When I am unable. He ...
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