Psalms 139:16

Having one of those days..maybe weeks.. where I can't help but question why...why did God bring me here? Why did He lead me HERE? Of all the places I could have settled comfortably in. Of all the things I could somewhat adequately do. Why here? IN this that I can not seem to do. Why did God place me of all people here. I keep listing the reasons in my mind, why I certainly don't belong. I'm not smart enough, skilled enough, productive enough, tough enough, outgoing enough, tall enough..the list continues. (its a long list.) And my list of all my failures leads me to this one question that pounds against my tiny brain, why did God bring me here. Am I reasoning with God's infinite wisdom? I'm not sure. I'm not sure about anything. but this: I'm so unable. And in the back corners of my heart, where the child like faith is hidden so well, beneath my aging 20's something exterior, I hear my heart telling me that when I cannot, God can. When I am unable. He ...

Netter's tells me where everything is, when a patient's abdomen is open on an OR table, organs in the hands of a surgeon. Surgical Recall tells me the answers to the most likely asked "pimp" questions by cool (and surprisingly sweet) surgeons to oblivious medical students, like myself. But its the Bible that declare to me who the master designer is, the craftsmen, creator of these intricate organ systems is. Its the Bible that tells me when the hands of the these awesome surgeons fail and reach the limitations of man, (because it will) that the Hand of the Almighty is holding on to us, still. In the worst of diseases, worst of conditions (physical, spiritual, mental), God knows the course of our life. Nothing is beyond the power of those HANDS. Nothing is beyond God... Psalms 139: 13-16  "For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know t...

Day by day, I'm discovering the cure to sin, to temptation, to every pitfall, downfall, every stronghold. The cure, Jesus. I'm realizing that that the more I read the Bible, the more I'm reading and hearing the actual voice of God. And the more I hear the word of God, the less I want to hear about the world. I'm realizing that the more I get into the presence of God, as I worship God, the more I want to Know God and less I want to know what going on with him or her. I'm finally realizing that the more I listen to the Holy Spirit, God's Spirit, the more I am listening to God and less I'm listening to me.. to what I want. And everyday, I make blunders. some small.  many large. Most stupid.  Sin that comes in all different kinds of shapes and sizes.  Honestly I'm not even close to who God called me to be. That is a blimp, a point, off in a far distant place from where I stand. But this is what I'm thinking, everyday, if I can step a little close...

In Proverbs (the book of wisdom), page after page, King Solomon writes the importance of listening and hearing the words of the wise. He writes that we become wise when our ears are open to those who once walked where we now tread. Proverbs 2:1-2 "My son (daughter) if you receive my words and treasure my commands within you, so that you incline your ear to wisdom and apply your heart to understanding.. then you will understand.." I recently had a patient that I wish everyone had the opportunity to meet! (I'm going to be super vague because I don't want to break any HIPPA violations..=) ) My sweet patient is nearly a century old and still going strong!! One random day, as I was examining her, I asked her if she had any stories to share from the almost 100 years that she's lived on this green earth. Any advice to give to an amateur at life, as I. And she looked at me with glistening eyes that held a century worth of observations, and told me that the sweetest thin...

We says things like ' I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me' and 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart'. Then we live and plan like we don't believe God even exists. We try to set our lives up so everything will be fine even if God doesn't come through. But true faith means holding nothing back . It means putting every hope in God's fidelity to His promises . -- Francis Chan, Crazy Love  God, give me a faith that runs deep. That isn't shallow. That doesn't fall when the waves and winds crash against my life..Give me a strong faith, that is rooted deep. A faith that dares to believe in You, even against the odds... Amen

.. In the midst of studying... where the days seem both stretched out and stretched thin , too long and too short, I remember that I am MONTHS away from graduation. 24 months exactly. Yes, that's 2 years. But 24 MONTHS seems..not AS long. =)

"Propofol used for rapid anesthesia induction...is not recommended for home use by pop stars" (my USMLE Step 1 First Aid Book) -- its the simple things in life that make me smile.=P

The only thing that I got to say, the only thing that I've kept on saying to myself today is this- Baby, RUN! (yea.. I talk to myself....)   " Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us , fixing our eyes on Jesus , the pioneer and perfecter of faith." (Heb 12:1-2)  " Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize . Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.  Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air.  No , I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave " (1 Corinthians 9:24-27) Run baby, RUN! It's going to be hard. The mo...

I find myself fighting some nights. Fighting God, His purpose, His plan, His will, His game plan. I see myself running endlessly some days. Running away from Christ. Running away from the responsibilities that He has put before me so that I can do what I want to do. I get myself lost in the mess that I've created some times. I get broken in the emptiness of a world that does not, that cannot satisfy the hunger in me for a divine Love, divine relationship. I get hungry for love and I look relentlessly for something.. and realize what I have realized a thousand times before. Simply that nothing, no one, NOTHING in this world can ever complete my life but Him. Him, Jesus Christ. In all the run around that I do, I find myself in front of the cross. And its at the cross that I come to two elementary but profound conclusions. One, He loves me. The cross is an emblem of divine love, exclusively for the lost, condemned, broken,and unlovable. Jesus Chri...

ALL things work TOGETHER for GOOD for those who LOVE God ,  those who are CALLED according to His purpose .  God is has been "working" this verse-- Romans 8:28 in my life. I'm not sure if that makes sense but God has been speaking this particular Word to me, over and over for the last couple of weeks, through my friends, pastors, and in my personal devotional time with God.  I get the feeling that God keeps reminding His Word because one of these days, I am going to need to use it or maybe it is for today- that I need to hope on Him. Trust in Him. Believe on Him and upon His purpose. A friend sent me this blog and I was blessed and reminded what Romans 8:28 was all about. Please read it if you have the time. But I'll leave you with a quote! (...a long long quote)  "Imagine a parallel set of train tracks that extends as far as the eye can see.  Those tracks represent the experiences that we all go through in life – one is the painful experi...

We taught early on to accomplish something amazing. have everything that is the best. be beautiful. taught and trained to be someone great. Truth is, I've always desired to be the smartest, the best, and the greatest. And let me shamefully admit, I've looked many a times, to be the prettiest, to be most liked... to capture the eye of the world.  And I am sorely disappointed when I come up short. (what a continual disappointment it has been =) Today, I was reminded what Jesus thinks about my quest be great. Mark 9: 33-37 --> On a long walk, Jesus overheard His disciples have a heated argument on who's the greatest among their posse. Maybe Peter started off their little discussion by saying that he was the only one out of the twelve who walked on water, even if it was for like 2 seconds. Of course he was the greatest. John and James might have countered Peter's claim to fame by saying that they were after all "the sons of thunder", and that has to have som...

If you have a few minutes to spare-- READ THIS !    My two favorite quotes from Dobson in this article :   " I am no longer a preacher,” said Dobson. “Today, I would say I am a Jesus follower. Period." I think that we all get caught up in life. In doing. In going. And we forget why? And we forget for what? My occupation is just an occupation. It's all temporary. One day, this chapter will end. But today and everyday of my life, I am a follower of Jesus Christ. And that is something that will ring true for all of eternity. When asked about his wife -  “She is my right hand, my left hand, my left foot, my right foot, my heart and my brain,” Dobson said. “Without her, it would be impossible to go on.” I have no comments, but that I love it!

I was asking a friend a question about the lecture we just had, when my professor, also a dean of our college, overheard me and asked me if I had a question he could answer. I shyly responded 'no, nothing really'. And he looked at me and said 'I am here to answer your questions but you would rather ask your friend that question than me?'. He smiled and walked away to answer someone else. It made me think.. How many times do we try to solve our problems by ourselves, when the GREAT I AM is here, as a friend, as a Father, to help us with our every need.