The Cross.

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I find myself fighting some nights. Fighting God, His purpose, His plan, His will, His game plan.

I see myself running endlessly some days. Running away from Christ. Running away from the responsibilities that He has put before me so that I can do what I want to do.

I get myself lost in the mess that I've created some times. I get broken in the emptiness of a world that does not, that cannot satisfy the hunger in me for a divine Love, divine relationship. I get hungry for love and I look relentlessly for something.. and realize what I have realized a thousand times before. Simply that nothing, no one, NOTHING in this world can ever complete my life but Him. Him, Jesus Christ.

In all the run around that I do, I find myself in front of the cross. And its at the cross that I come to two elementary but profound conclusions.

One, He loves me. The cross is an emblem of divine love, exclusively for the lost, condemned, broken,and unlovable. Jesus Christ, the King of the Universe humbled Himself and gave His life for me. Jesus Christ on the cross reminds me that He loves me.  Before I ever knew about Him, He loved me. God loved me so much that He gave me His MOST valuable possession, His only begotten Son. Love is beautiful in itself. But it becomes something fiery and strong when that love is reciprocated between two people. To love Him, who loves me, I must give Him my most precious possessions. I must give Him the thing that I treasure the most, the things that I hold on to the most -- Give it up as a demonstration of my love and devotion.

Two, the cross reminds me of death. Think of it, the cross is not a nice pretty symbol that makes for good jewelry. Its a graphic symbol of the death penalty. Its the gruesome symbol of death and dying. Suffering. Shame. Pain. And it urges me that I must die. If I ever what to live in abundant life with deep relationship with God, I too must die. Die to the lust and loves of the this world. Die to my will and my purpose. Die to my agenda and take up His, solely. Die to my desires so that He can created godly desires in me. Die so that I can finally live.

Jesus, I love you more than anything else in this world. And as a demonstration of my love, I want to give you the things that I treasure the most -- my time. God I want to love you more everyday than the day before. And to do that, I know that I MUST die to some things. I need to die to what I want to do. Die to those desires that don't align with your desires. Die to lusts and loves. I need to decrease so that You might increase in me. Thank you for the cross Jesus. Thank you for dying in my place that I might have everlasting life in You. Thank you, thank you for loving the unlovable. Thank you for loving me, at my best days and through my worst days. Amen. 



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