Psalms 139:16

Have you ever waited for something exciting to come into your life? I find myself there. Waiting for a page or two to turn. Sometimes I feel like my life, the routine of going to school and studying, gets rather boring. I find myself waiting for the chapter of wild adventures to start. It is almost as if I'm waiting for my lottery ticket to arrive and life to be super awesome somehow. I find myself thinking about the deserts of Africa or the villages of India, exploring the vastness of what seems like another universe. I imagine treating diseases and setting up clinics and preaching the gospel to a people whose language I have never known. I think about my future husband, who should have been a supermodel but decided instead to share the gospel with the world. (KIDDING! ..kinda) ..My mother always did say I had a vivid imagination. I think it's healthy to want to go somewhere in life. Its important to have goals and dreams. But I think there is a lesson in being content i...

Lord Jesus, Help me to follow You, today and everyday

hope you had a blessed day to count the blessings in your lives. and eat at least a serving or a the very very least, a slice of anything turkey related. But its not about that, the turkey and the stuffing. I would dare to say its not even about the Indians (feather not the dot) or the white guys that came on the boat. Its about being thankful to Creator God, for...I guess, looking out for us, little guys. In the Bible it says that we don't have anything that we have not received. So for all that I have received, all that I think is in my grasp, I am grateful to God. Don't get me wrong, there are so many things to be sad about, situations and circumstances that aren't fair, so many things that don't go my way, but I know that if it wasn't for my God who defends me, who gives me strength in temptations, wisdom in relationships, who gives me all things that pertain to life and living this life for Him, I know if it isn't for God, I would not me who I am, standin...

I'll be waiting Anticipating All that I aim for What I was made for With every heartbeat All of my blood bleeds Running inside me Looking for you Looking for you -- Restless. Switchfoot 

When all I can smell is the stink of my sin, that clings to me like the kitchen sink drain in all its filthiness,  it's then the fragrance of God's love fills my life.  When I am at my worst, at my weakest, I see God's greatest strength and God's greatest love, as it works in my heart and life to transform me to His image. I want to share a verse that changed me and the course of my life when I learned it as a child, and it still penetrates to the inadequacy I feel as a believer who from time to time falls head first into sin. "For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord" (Romans 7:18,24-25) I don't know if you have ever been there. I don't know if you felt like I have when you do what yo...

"For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble" I've used this verse in my prayers a million times over. Its probably one of the first verses I learned as a child. For the little wants and big needs, I've found myself repeating this verse back to God, emphasizing the "ALL these things shall be ADDED unto YOU" part. And yet, I keep hearing this Word being spoken back to me by God. I feel that his emphasis is different however. Its the "seek FIRST THE KINGDOM OF GOD and HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS" that rings the loudest. Cause you see, according to His word, it's His guarantee that He'll provide all things for us. That's something that He promised to take car...

I started my preceptorship in cardiology today. Overall, awesome experience. But at one point while I was intently listening to the super-awesome cardiology doctor man, he looked at me and asked me if I was the patient's doctor (obviously I'm not, for my little short white coat shouts that I am in fact an amateur) I smiled and replied no and before I could answer any further, he asked me if I was a terrorist. I smiled again and casually said no, explaining that I am but a lowly MS2. That was sufficient for the super-awesome cardiology man to leave me be, listening to their cardiology talks. As I think back to that conversation, I realize that this is not the way that I wanted awesome cardio man to remember me -- as the potential bioterrorist but really, nothing but a lowly MS2. Better luck next time I suppose..

So I want to share something exciting with you. I know what I want to do with my life. I want to be a medical missionary. I'm not sure if I'll be a pediatrician. I'm not sure if I'll do cardiology. I'm not sure where God will lead me. I'm not sure what my life is going to look like in 5 or 10 years from now. Regardless, that's the call that God has placed in my life, a call I am answering to! I'm gonna be a missionary for Jesus Christ, to the ends of the earth. PS-- God doesn't call the qualified but God qualifies the called

You said, Ask and I'll give the nations to you O Lord, that's the cry of my heart Distant shores and the islands will see Your light, as it rises on us

I met both of them as teenagers, in my first Pre-AP class, freshman year when I dropped out of athletics and decided to tackle a Pre-AP course. (I think this sealed my fate as a nerd through out my high school years...who am I kidding. This sealed my fate as a lowly flower-on-the-wall-bookworm for life! =)    We were so alike growing up. three Indian girls who cared way too much about grades... smart but very unsure of ourselves. We spent a great deal of high school dreading where the idol we made of our GPAs would lead us and far too much time comparing ourselves to each other, or at least I did. Throughout those high school years, every year, we would be in a class together.. And there we would walk through the halls of our school, with large backpacks, frizzy hair, and our dreams high above our heads. I am staring out of the library window as I write this , down onto the highway that starts out a main road with multiple lanes that then splits to various roads....

There is a boy I know, who with his little hands tries to hold the fabric of his family together. One day, while I was over, he hushed, with a tremendous hush, the heated discussions his mother and father was having over something small. What I love about this boy, is that he tries to hold his messed up, dysfunctional family together. And days will pass, the pages will turn, and the little boy will grow up to a man still holding on to something that is tattered and torn. No matter, he will try. He'll try with all his might to hold the bricks of the beautiful house together, intact, so that the world outside will not see the caved in ceiling and the leaking roof. What the boy does not realize is that it will come crashing down. It always does. One blow of the nasty wolf and the house will crash. And he will still try to hold the pieces together with his hands until his hands blister and bleed. The day will come, that he won't be able to hold his family intact. Mother and Father ...

I've always wondered if God really speaks to people. I think He speaks. But we (mostly me) are so busy listening to ourselves and the people around us that we miss what God is telling us. Yesterday and today, God just brought this ver se in my heart-- godliness with contentment is great gain. (1 Timothy 6:6) You might ask me why. And I wasn't too sure myself. I haven't read that verse in a really long time. It didn't really make sense to me when I heard it the first time God spoke it in my heart -- Why would God break through my self-centered world to send me this particular message? Today, I began to feel sorry for myself, some cause I have two left feet and can't dance to save my life. mostly because I don't seem to fit the mold, I feel forgotten. awkward. different. I'm not the standard in any sense. Maybe not really who I was, not so naive, but not really not who I want to be, not mature nor well read. And then the Word of God screams -- Godliness wit...

I am trying to study now. But it is so hard, for so many reasons. But what makes me sit here still is what I read in Proverbs 10:5 "He who gathers crops in summer is a prudent son, but he who sleeps during harvest is a disgraceful son". So summer (or whatever is left of it), I will use you prudently! So as I was sitting here, trying (really really trying) to study, I looked down at my palms, on to the lines etched into my skin. Some believe that a person's entire life is written on one's palm. We had a sleepover once at my aunt's house (she's not too much older that I) and she looked at my palms and told me that I have a lot of enemies. Man, talk about shooting down a kid's self esteem. And she also mentioned something about having a lot of boyfriends and children. Both of which (thankfully) has not happened as of yet. Anyways, coming back to the subject at hand (no pun intended), Isaiah 49:16 says that God has engraved our names upon the palms of His...

Something I am very bad about is keeping in touch and staying in touch with people that I care about. And what I love about this whole situation that I'm such a failure at, is when people that I don't reach out to, care enough about me to not let me go into my own little world but nag, yell, and get angry at me until I do pick up the phone to call (or text..which is still progress in my book). I love that my family would love me enough to yell at me. That's what keeps me sane or something close to it I suppose.

I finished my first year of medical school! All this week, I kept thinking of that night five years ago. A night when my big Indian (high motivated) family was all gathered half asleep in my aunt's living room for my grandmother's funeral. With all kinds of funny looking blankets spread out on the living room floor and pillows thrown here and there and few of  the younger cousins fast asleep, the rest of my family (uncles and aunties and cousins) remained awake discussing future plans and ambitions. And they came to the question that I had been avoiding.. of what I would be doing with my life...  My graduation was in two days and I had no idea where God was leading, where I would be headed, what I would be doing with my life. And I remember turning my face from everyone and crying out to God to somehow direct my messy life. Have I told you that God is faithful? He is. And it's not a thing that church taught me to say, it's a thing that I've learned walking throu...

Tomorrow is Friday, marking the start of SPRING BREAK! =D (if you could only see the joy on this face!!) So, I would like to briefly share the scripture that God has been writing upon my heart this week. Proverbs 7:1, 2, 5b "My son [/daughter], keep my words and treasure my commands within you. Keep my commands and live. And my law as the apple of your eye. That they may keep you from [immorality]" It is so easy to get swept away with the "things of this world". That sounds churchy , so let me explain, it's so easy, for me at least, to let the materialistic, selfish elements of my daily life control my thoughts, my time and essentially my entire day. Its so easy to get swept up in trying to look pretty or whatever and realize that I spent more time picking out a shirt than reading the Bible this morning. It is SO easy to let the things that DO NOT even matter to take up time in my life. Day by day, as I started having less time to read the Bible and pray this w...