He spoke

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I've always wondered if God really speaks to people. I think He speaks. But we (mostly me) are so busy listening to ourselves and the people around us that we miss what God is telling us.

Yesterday and today, God just brought this verse in my heart-- godliness with contentment is great gain. (1 Timothy 6:6)

You might ask me why. And I wasn't too sure myself. I haven't read that verse in a really long time. It didn't really make sense to me when I heard it the first time God spoke it in my heart -- Why would God break through my self-centered world to send me this particular message?

Today, I began to feel sorry for myself, some cause I have two left feet and can't dance to save my life. mostly because I don't seem to fit the mold, I feel forgotten. awkward. different. I'm not the standard in any sense. Maybe not really who I was, not so naive, but not really not who I want to be, not mature nor well read.

And then the Word of God screams -- Godliness with contentment is great gain. I yell back. I want an escape. I want to break out of the immature, awkward little girl I am. I want to fit. I want to be cool or hip... or whatever. He says -- Rebellion is like witchcraft. Now, now I scream back -- What? He says kindly -- Godliness with contentment is great gain.

In second grade, we grew little caterpillars and watched these caterpillars make cacoons and become butterflies that we later released. You see, once inside the cacoons, they remain for a certain time until they transform. a certain time. until they are ready to fly. encased. trapped. cacoon-ed.

He yells -- Godliness with contentment is great gain.

I might be awkward. But this is not the time to forgo the things that tie me down. Its a time to be content. Knowing that He is producing in me godliness. Christ in me, the hope of glory. Maybe, I won't see the world through the eyes that I did when I was in high school. But He tells me over and over again, sometimes softly, other times loud, Godliness with contentment is great gain.

He spoke to me. He spoke, and for the first time in a long time, I listened.



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