Something. Anything.
I've been flipping through the pages of the word of God over the last few days for something. Anything. Cause on days when I am desperate to just know God's heart, to see God or hear Him, and I simply cannot, I crave to read something written by Him. Crave for just even a glimpse of a whisper of God. For so many selfish reasons than one. I've been in this place for a while now. Z calls in a "limbo". So much unknowns lie here. So many uncertainties. And in this place where I've been, I have been desperate to grab a hold of something from His Word. For anything I can cling onto. Something I can rest on.
Something.
Anything.
So as I flipped the pages of the Bible this morning, I came to 1 Chronicles. I had been avoiding starting Chronicles.... Cause I judge books. Not by the cover. But by the name. Granted, I know that THIS IS THE WORD of GOD and all books of His Word are God-inspired, God-breathed. I know this. Believe this. But... I still judge a book by its name... For example, Deuteronomy vs. Ruth. I definitely tend to prefer Ruth, even if only for its short pronounceable name over De-u-ter-on-omy. If it is complicated as it sounds it isn't a book that I readily jump into. And so this morning I was at Chronicles. Lets be honest, it sounds a little (God, please forgive me...I probably shouldn't say it...) boring. So I went it, feet first. If only for something. anything that I could see God in.
The first few chapters of 1 Chronicle if you didn't already know are genealogies. Yes. yes. genealogies... So I skim and skim when in the midst of names and families, I came across this account of the family of Gad, one of the many sons of Jacob. 1 Chron. 5:19-22 "They made war..and the Hagrities were delivered into their hand and all who were with them for they (the family of gAd) cried out to God in the battle. He heeded their prayer, because they put their trust in Him..." The entirety of their story, their struggle was summarized in FOUR verses. But a few things we know. One they struggled. Struggled with the fear of defeat. With the sting of death. Struggled. Battled. And in their battle, we know they cried. Maybe it was one of those agonizing, heart-wrenching cries. Or maybe just a plea or a shout. A desperate groan without words? Nevertheless, they cried. And God heard. Because "they put their trust in Him". They didn't trust in their family's grace or standing. Their wealth or might. Their reputation. Their strength.... Instead, they relied on God. Because they put their heart and trust in the power of an ABLE God, God responded. "many fell dead, because the war was God's". We know, God responded. We know they won. What amazes me the most, is that even in the midst of a section God carved out for genealogies, God did not forget a cry. a cry for help. a whisper for direction. a prayer in the night for God to move. a simple trust. GOd sets apart four verses if only just to document His divine response for those who dare to send an S.O.S. amid a shifty struggle.
It makes me think, that even in the crowds of the greats and of the mighty, that God won't forget about me. He won't let me go... And even at my little girlish cries, He will respond. He will heed. He will come. He will save. He will surely help. And one day, long after I'm gone, I'll be a name in a section in the pages of history. or at least of an obituary (sounds emo and morbid I know.. I know..) But the sum of me will be just that. Nothing more. But I hope in this life I cry out. In the course of my life, I can cry out, shout out, send a plea. A groan. And I hope that I see God's response. I hope I get to see that. And beyond even just that I hope that the RESPONSE of a mighty God who would come to my help, would beckon others to cry out. My SOS would be an invitation to others to call out a SOS to a great God who will SURELY respond.
I hope you and I can dare to cry out, call out, send out an SOS to someOne, the only One who will surely respond. Maybe it won't be just us that will be healed, restored, changed, delivered by our SOS..... Because me just stumbling into these four verses makes me believe that God is able to give me that something, anything that I whispered to God for in my heart. He heeds even a silent cry.
Something.
Anything.
So as I flipped the pages of the Bible this morning, I came to 1 Chronicles. I had been avoiding starting Chronicles.... Cause I judge books. Not by the cover. But by the name. Granted, I know that THIS IS THE WORD of GOD and all books of His Word are God-inspired, God-breathed. I know this. Believe this. But... I still judge a book by its name... For example, Deuteronomy vs. Ruth. I definitely tend to prefer Ruth, even if only for its short pronounceable name over De-u-ter-on-omy. If it is complicated as it sounds it isn't a book that I readily jump into. And so this morning I was at Chronicles. Lets be honest, it sounds a little (God, please forgive me...I probably shouldn't say it...) boring. So I went it, feet first. If only for something. anything that I could see God in.
The first few chapters of 1 Chronicle if you didn't already know are genealogies. Yes. yes. genealogies... So I skim and skim when in the midst of names and families, I came across this account of the family of Gad, one of the many sons of Jacob. 1 Chron. 5:19-22 "They made war..and the Hagrities were delivered into their hand and all who were with them for they (the family of gAd) cried out to God in the battle. He heeded their prayer, because they put their trust in Him..." The entirety of their story, their struggle was summarized in FOUR verses. But a few things we know. One they struggled. Struggled with the fear of defeat. With the sting of death. Struggled. Battled. And in their battle, we know they cried. Maybe it was one of those agonizing, heart-wrenching cries. Or maybe just a plea or a shout. A desperate groan without words? Nevertheless, they cried. And God heard. Because "they put their trust in Him". They didn't trust in their family's grace or standing. Their wealth or might. Their reputation. Their strength.... Instead, they relied on God. Because they put their heart and trust in the power of an ABLE God, God responded. "many fell dead, because the war was God's". We know, God responded. We know they won. What amazes me the most, is that even in the midst of a section God carved out for genealogies, God did not forget a cry. a cry for help. a whisper for direction. a prayer in the night for God to move. a simple trust. GOd sets apart four verses if only just to document His divine response for those who dare to send an S.O.S. amid a shifty struggle.
It makes me think, that even in the crowds of the greats and of the mighty, that God won't forget about me. He won't let me go... And even at my little girlish cries, He will respond. He will heed. He will come. He will save. He will surely help. And one day, long after I'm gone, I'll be a name in a section in the pages of history. or at least of an obituary (sounds emo and morbid I know.. I know..) But the sum of me will be just that. Nothing more. But I hope in this life I cry out. In the course of my life, I can cry out, shout out, send a plea. A groan. And I hope that I see God's response. I hope I get to see that. And beyond even just that I hope that the RESPONSE of a mighty God who would come to my help, would beckon others to cry out. My SOS would be an invitation to others to call out a SOS to a great God who will SURELY respond.
I hope you and I can dare to cry out, call out, send out an SOS to someOne, the only One who will surely respond. Maybe it won't be just us that will be healed, restored, changed, delivered by our SOS..... Because me just stumbling into these four verses makes me believe that God is able to give me that something, anything that I whispered to God for in my heart. He heeds even a silent cry.
Dude... You're pretty baller. No lie. What a Word from God. So proud of your faithfulness and your persistence to attach yourself to Christ and seek His direction as you wait for His response and for Him to intervene... Others try to take action themselves and look to other things for an answer. You, my friend, are wise... And you're sticking with Jesus. Which is one of the reasons why you're so inspiring.
ReplyDeleteAnd last thing... I may say you're in Limbo, but dude... That doesn't mean God doesn't want to use you or have a huge plan for you while you're waiting on a response. Move. Act. Make a choice and go in that direction going after the will of God. If you're going the wrong way, God WILL respond. That's the thing about limbo. God doesn't want us to just sit there and do nothing waiting for him to work everything out... We gotta move an trust Him at the same time to act on whatever we've offered to Him. Hopefully that makes sense.
Anyways... Way proud of you woman! :)
Later!
-Z